~ My Long Awaited Book...

  I am constantly being told that I should write a book. I always ponder this statement; wonder what would I write a book about?  What would I have to say that anyone else would ever want to read? Then the biggest question that I have for myself, would I really have enough to say to write an entire book, something to fill all of those empty pages?  I have a very short attention span, and do not think that I could ever sit still long enough to write a book.  I can barely sit still long enough to write an e-mail, let alone an entire book.  So today, as I was sitting around, doing laundry that badly needed to get done.  I started to think about my life, thinking about all the places my life has taken me, some good, and some bad. Not all of these places are physical locations, but they are all still places I have "gone" in one form or another.  I think about my future, and I think about what is currently going on that sort of bothers me, or things that I wish I could change, and those things that help to make it all bearable.
  Today I thought about Mike… not one particular Mike, but a few of them.  In my personal history I have encountered four Mikes, all of whom I thought I was perfectly matched with.  The first one I met at a local club, and we hit it off great, but every time he was single, I was not, and vise versa. We never did get to have any type of relationship other than being good friends. I am happy for him in the fact that he seems to have found his soul mate, and he found him at an early age. I still have deep feelings for this Mike, and often wonder what would have happened if our paths had crossed at the right time, and we did date each other. Would it have been a perfect match, or would we have ended up never talking to each other again. Maybe we would have had some horrible fight that left us hating each other. But since it never happened, I will never know.
  The second Mike is possibly the only man I have ever truly loved.  He came at a time when everything in my life was shaken up, and I was trying to put the pieces back in order, trying to figure out who I was, and who I was. We ended up breaking up, because at the time, I was still fairly innocent, and he wanted more, that I was not ready for yet. Then one day he just disappeared. The one thing that had bothered me most about this breakup was the fact that at the time, I did not know why. He also left wearing a ring that was very special to me. One night he took it off my hand, and put it on his. When I thought we were going to be together forever, it was kewl to know that a piece of me was always on him.  But I had missed that ring, it meant a lot to me, it marked a very special day.  I will not get into that now, it is not the time, I am telling you about my Mike's. I did end up running into him one night out at a club, he told me about where he had been, we talked a lot about what happened and why he left. I felt better knowing that he was alright, that he was seeing someone that he was in love with, and I even got my ring back. This particular Mike, I will always have a place in my heart for, but again, it was not meant to be.
  The third Mike… well that was a very short relationship. We met online, everything seemed to be great, and then, when the day finally cam to meet.  Well, he was not as good in person. Not looks or anything like that, but his personality was sort of mean spirited.  The entire time I was with him, I felt like he did not want me there.  Like some how I was invading his space just by being there.  So I gave him what I thought he wanted, and left, but then online he acted like he did not understand why I did not stay longer. Needless to say, this relationship did not last very long.
  The last Mike is one that I am still dealing with. He is my type, he is smart, he is cute and seems like a truly great guy.  But there is a problem. Isn't there always something?  He is seeing my ex.  Now I still do not get the differences between "seeing someone" and "dating", but I might just be old fashioned when it comes to that, and I have been told that there is a big difference. Now this Mike keeps confusing me.  He is dangling me on the end of a hook, keeping me there as a standby.  This has really messed with my head and my heart. He tells me that his is interested, and then he does not really seem to be.  I have learned that sometimes it is easier to cut loses and move on.  What is it that they say, it is better to have loved and lost. You know, all of that bull shit. I am not really sure that it is true, and don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I am in love, but I also feel that this time, I am not even being given the chance to find out.
  So with all of this history with guys named Mike, why have I not simply tried to back off, and ignore every guy with the name?  I really don't know.  I guess I'm gluten for punishment.  Or at least like mild torture.  So I have decided to write my very first book, all based on my experiences with guys named Mike.  Now since there are so many books out there, and you do not want to have two books with the same name, I have had some trouble deciding on a name.  At first I thought I would use: "My Life with Mike", but then found out there was a movie with a name real close to that.  So then I had decided on: "Mike, Michael, and Mikey" but a friend pointed out that I had four Mikes in my life, and the title only covered three of them.  And that is where I am at now, I have the perfect title, it is a little long, but I think it works. It sort of fits under the self-help section, but I think it will be a number one best seller.  "So you have Found the Perfect Guy, but What to do with His Boy Friend?"  I told you it was a long title, but sure to get your attention. Now I do not have the entire book worked out in my head yet, but here are a few of the chapters.

Chapter 1 – It's Raining Men!  I knew I should have brought an Umbrella!

Chapter 2 – He's Cute, Smart and has a Great Personality, Signs that it will Not Work!

Chapter 3 – It Takes Two to Tango, But Why am I still Dancing Alone?

Chapter 4 – Nifty Fifty! At 20, I think we have some things to Iron!  When is Old, too Old?

Chapter 5 – It's Not You, It's Him!  What is Truth, and what is Fiction?

Chapter 6 – Men Suck and I will Survive!

Chapter 7 – Turning Straight… If only you could!

Chapter 8 – Life Alone, One in the hand, is better than two in the bush!

The End

Andrew VanDusen – Single and In Need of Therapy
A.k.a.:  Todd Stratton

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